Sunday, December 19, 2010

Common Dating Mistakes Men Make and how to avoid dating mistakes

Common Dating Mistakes to Avoid

Let’s face it, dating doesn’t come naturally. And dating after the age of 30 or 40 is a minefield of potential mistakes that could make or break your chance of a terrific woman wanting to get to know you better. Some of those mistakes are of no real consequence, certainly not deal-breakers. So those aren’t the ones I’m going to be talking about.

It’s the mysterious mistakes that you’re unaware of that cause that great girl to want to get away as quickly as possible. It’s particularly puzzling when you think the date went well and she doesn’t want to go out with you again, with you wondering what the heck went wrong.




Because she’s uncomfortable telling you explicitly why she doesn’t want to see you again, you can only presume, and sadly, all too often, you end up writing her off as a bitch, which isn’t always the case.


Wouldn’t that feedback be useful? Without it, how are you going to develop your dating skills and build your confidence? If you don’t have a clue how you’re coming across maybe the following list of common mistakes will help you see something that you’ve been doing without realizing it.

 

What is the purpose of Self Improvement?

Why should you worry trying to advance yourself? Because the better you are at being a confident, masterful man, and at communicating with women and understanding what they want, the more fascinating and attractive you’ll be. And the better you get at showing up as a self-assured man, the higher the quality of women you’ll magnetize and the more women you’ll have to choose from.








The trade-off? You have to put some effort into improving yourself but you get to be the kind of man most women are looking for. Not bad, huh?



 


Where Did You Learn To Date?

Like most of us, you most likely learned to date when you were in high school, then “fine tuned” your skills in college, then got along by hit or miss after that. Even on the occasions when you got it right, did you know what you did? Can you repeat it?


So now, here you are, wanting to start dating seriously because you’re ready for a long-term relationship with a special woman with whom to share your life.


You head out on your first date. It seems to go pretty well, but she tells you she doesn’t want to go out with you again.


Then another first date. This woman isn’t interested in seeing you again either.


What’s going on, you wonder? You start to doubt yourself, “What am I doing wrong?”


You ask and she tells you there’s no chemistry, you didn’t know how to communicate, or you didn’t seem to be that interested. What are you supposed to do with that information?


So you stumble on, hoping that one of these days, you’ll meet the woman you’re looking for and, for a change, she won’t be a mystery.


The next post will give you much needed insight into the mysteries of dating women more effectively.


After you’ve read the 15 mistakes, you’ll be attractive to more of the women you meet and when that special woman comes along, she won’t be able to keep you off her mind. That’s when you get enthusiastic encouragement for a second date. Why? Because those women will be basking in your masculinity.

Friday, December 10, 2010

What Are You Looking For in a Woman?

I think it is a good idea to be very clear about what you want. Are you looking for a fling, a serious girlfriend, a long-term commitment, or marriage? Give this some hard thought. What are the consequences and responsibilities of each? If you’re looking for marriage, how do you want the financial responsibilities to be arranged? Do you want her to participate 50/50? Do you want children? Once you know the answers to these questions you’ll be able to choose more wisely.

So.. What are you looking for in a woman?
What age range will work for you? How flexible are you? How important is it that she looks a certain way? Are you open to being surprised by what you find attractive? If you have to have a blond who is ten or more years younger you might miss a terrific woman who is right under your nose.

Here is where it gets a bit tricky. When I asked men what they were looking for, generally their lists were not very long but a bit fuzzy. I want to give you some things to watch out for, and maybe even run the other way. In other words, beware of these:

1. Avoid any woman who is financially irresponsible. You will end up in a mess. Not making much money is not the same as having poor money management skills. You don’t need that kind of grief.

2. Avoid any woman who is angry with men. This is not immediately obvious so you need to dig a bit. If she gets into past relationships and she begins to get angry, she could end up taking it out on you.


Flush out any hidden anger by asking her if she thinks the feminist movement has harmed men and women’s ability to create loving, respectful relationships. If she hasn’t thought about it, the direction you want to explore is if she thinks it feels good to have a man be a woman’s hero, to want to be the man so she can enjoy being a woman.

There is something called The Feminine Grace. It’s all about how a woman can better enjoy being a woman so she can better appreciate why she wants a man by her side. If a woman you’re getting to know doesn’t like it, she’s angry at men or too into the Feminist mentality to be able to create a balanced relationship and you should walk away.

3. Avoid women who blame others for what’s going on in their lives. Blamers will end up blaming you and won’t ever take responsibility for their part of the dance. And it does take two to do the relationship dance. Blamers also tend to be angry and bitter. Definitely not what you are looking for.

4. Avoid spoiled women because they’ll be high maintenance. A high maintenance woman expects and assumes to be pampered, given gifts, taken care of without giving you the appreciation you deserve. A low maintenance woman is appreciative for everything you do for her and enjoys giving as well as receiving. Spoiled women are like a bottomless pit and are never happy. Plus, that kind of behavior is pretty ugly.

By the way, the more beautiful a woman is, the more likely she will be spoiled and high maintenance because people have always fallen over themselves to do for and give them.

5. If she ever, even once, says something to put you down you are in for some very big trouble. She is an emasculator and her scissors are somewhere near by.

6. Avoid women who are inconsistent. You don’t want to be blindsided by erratic behavior and you don’t want to be guessing all the time.

7. Avoid women who are emotionally wacky. Women can be emotional but if they are out of control be very, very careful. She can surprise you in some pretty scary ways.


8. Avoid women who are generally unhappy. You want a woman who is happy or you will have to work too hard and will get worn out. It’s another form of being high maintenance. This type of woman is too much work and she will never be happy, no matter how much you do for her. Happiness is an inside job and has everything to do with attitude and outlook on life. Be on the lookout when you are getting to know a woman.


9. Avoid women who have no close friends. She will expect you to be everything for her, which is too much for any man to take on. And there’s something intrinsically wrong with a woman who has no close friends. She is not emotionally healthy. Notice if you have been drawn to these types of women in the past. Some men enjoy rescuing women, but then wonder why they get worn out and beaten down. 
If you want a healthy, happy woman, you must expect the same of yourself.

In the beginning of a relationship, everyone is putting their best foot forward. Unfortunately, women can be very good at acting whatever part is required to snag a man. That is one reason you should wait at least a year, probably two, before marriage. In that period of time you will begin to see inconsistencies if she is putting on an act. Pay attention to how your friends and family feel about her. If they don’t like her, that should be a big red flag. They can be much more objective than you can because they are not emotionally invested and they haven’t been having sex with her. I think you’re getting the general idea. Don’t get blinded by a woman just because she’s attractive or good in bed. If you’re looking for a healthy, solid, long-term relationship, you want someone who is basically sound. You’d do no less if you were purchasing a car.

Choose someone who makes you feel good, someone who makes you feel like a better person because you are with her. It may take a little longer to find her, but it will be well worth the wait.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Dating predicament

Relationships are tough, like a full time occupation, and we should treat it like one. If your girlfriend wants to dump you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and on the eve they are to leave, they should have to find you a temp!

How cool would that be? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work so and hence you need to make the effort!

Men say they just don’t want to deal with dating any more and it’s easier to stay home or go out with their men friends.

Women complain that their phone isn’t ringing. There is something seriously wrong.


Not only is it hard for people to meet, but it is equally tricky to know how to behave on a date. The overwhelming majority of single people DO want to meet someone, but they don’t know where to go. Here are some suggestions. Public lectures and workshops are excellent for meeting people with similar interests. They’re packed with women. So, men, start watching the paper and select topics that you find appealing. If you’re interested and she is, you begin with something in common.


Adult education classes are also good. Women tend to get out and do things because they prefer not to sit around and “wait for the mobile to ring.” Again, pick subjects you find fascinating.


The regular guy..
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, go to relationship classes and lectures. The women you find there are also interested or they wouldn’t be there. Be sure and watch for the wedding ring, though, because the proportion of married women at a relationship lecture is higher than a lot of other evening classes. But don’t be afraid to make friends with them. They know women who are single and good looking and you being at a relationship class or lecture will cause them to presume you’re a better catch than the regular guy.

As mentioned previously, dance classes are a good way to meet available women. Choose the kind of dancing you think you might enjoy (swing, ballroom, line, square, salsa, tango) and show up with an attitude that it will be pleasurable and maybe, just maybe, one of the women you dance with will be someone you’ll want to get to know. If you don’t meet anyone then you’ll be a superior catch because most women like a man who is a good dancer.


Never turn down a private party or wedding. It’s completely acceptable to go without a date and people are comfortable because they know at least the host and/or hostess. People are happy, their hearts are open, and they’re feeling festive, which makes them more open and friendly.

Public parties are good too, but people are not quite as comfortable. So you have to work a lot harder to get through their barriers. Normally, there are a lot of single, available, fun women at these kinds of events. Watch your local paper for theme events in public parks, dances, concerts, parades, and ticketed events.

The university often organises talks, and you get to meet university girls out there. Again, choose topic of your interest, it will make things easier.

There are also some religious talks and programmes. You will find religious and cultured girls out there. It is a perfect place to begin if you want a traditional housewife.

This may seem silly but a different fun way to meet is to borrow a puppy. Walk around or sit in a busy spot that will have a lot of happy people. Few can resist a cute puppy. Conversations begin very contentedly because you can focus on the puppy, and have something easy to talk about.


The reason to borrow a puppy is because bigger dogs don’t have the same result. Not everyone is a dog lover, but almost everyone love puppies. Don’t ever lie that it’s your puppy though. Just say it’s a friends’.

When you meet someone you want to get to know better, tell her you’re a little shy with women and someone said it’s a great ice-breaker. You’ll melt her heart.


If you do have a dog, and it’s well-mannered, do take it out to places where women will be walking: Along the beachfront, at malls, parks. If you have a dog, you want a woman who likes dogs and this is a perfect way to find only women who do.

The above suggestions make it easy to start conversations because there are built-in interests to get you started. Something to remember: everyone is just as nervous as you are and waiting for someone to get things underway. It might as well be you... and maybe a cute puppy.

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