Friday, December 10, 2010

What Are You Looking For in a Woman?

I think it is a good idea to be very clear about what you want. Are you looking for a fling, a serious girlfriend, a long-term commitment, or marriage? Give this some hard thought. What are the consequences and responsibilities of each? If you’re looking for marriage, how do you want the financial responsibilities to be arranged? Do you want her to participate 50/50? Do you want children? Once you know the answers to these questions you’ll be able to choose more wisely.

So.. What are you looking for in a woman?
What age range will work for you? How flexible are you? How important is it that she looks a certain way? Are you open to being surprised by what you find attractive? If you have to have a blond who is ten or more years younger you might miss a terrific woman who is right under your nose.

Here is where it gets a bit tricky. When I asked men what they were looking for, generally their lists were not very long but a bit fuzzy. I want to give you some things to watch out for, and maybe even run the other way. In other words, beware of these:

1. Avoid any woman who is financially irresponsible. You will end up in a mess. Not making much money is not the same as having poor money management skills. You don’t need that kind of grief.

2. Avoid any woman who is angry with men. This is not immediately obvious so you need to dig a bit. If she gets into past relationships and she begins to get angry, she could end up taking it out on you.

Flush out any hidden anger by asking her if she thinks the feminist movement has harmed men and women’s ability to create loving, respectful relationships. If she hasn’t thought about it, the direction you want to explore is if she thinks it feels good to have a man be a woman’s hero, to want to be the man so she can enjoy being a woman.

There is something called The Feminine Grace. It’s all about how a woman can better enjoy being a woman so she can better appreciate why she wants a man by her side. If a woman you’re getting to know doesn’t like it, she’s angry at men or too into the Feminist mentality to be able to create a balanced relationship and you should walk away.

3. Avoid women who blame others for what’s going on in their lives. Blamers will end up blaming you and won’t ever take responsibility for their part of the dance. And it does take two to do the relationship dance. Blamers also tend to be angry and bitter. Definitely not what you are looking for.

4. Avoid spoiled women because they’ll be high maintenance. A high maintenance woman expects and assumes to be pampered, given gifts, taken care of without giving you the appreciation you deserve. A low maintenance woman is appreciative for everything you do for her and enjoys giving as well as receiving. Spoiled women are like a bottomless pit and are never happy. Plus, that kind of behavior is pretty ugly.

By the way, the more beautiful a woman is, the more likely she will be spoiled and high maintenance because people have always fallen over themselves to do for and give them.

5. If she ever, even once, says something to put you down you are in for some very big trouble. She is an emasculator and her scissors are somewhere near by.

6. Avoid women who are inconsistent. You don’t want to be blindsided by erratic behavior and you don’t want to be guessing all the time.

7. Avoid women who are emotionally wacky. Women can be emotional but if they are out of control be very, very careful. She can surprise you in some pretty scary ways.

8. Avoid women who are generally unhappy. You want a woman who is happy or you will have to work too hard and will get worn out. It’s another form of being high maintenance. This type of woman is too much work and she will never be happy, no matter how much you do for her. Happiness is an inside job and has everything to do with attitude and outlook on life. Be on the lookout when you are getting to know a woman.

9. Avoid women who have no close friends. She will expect you to be everything for her, which is too much for any man to take on. And there’s something intrinsically wrong with a woman who has no close friends. She is not emotionally healthy. Notice if you have been drawn to these types of women in the past. Some men enjoy rescuing women, but then wonder why they get worn out and beaten down. 
If you want a healthy, happy woman, you must expect the same of yourself.

In the beginning of a relationship, everyone is putting their best foot forward. Unfortunately, women can be very good at acting whatever part is required to snag a man. That is one reason you should wait at least a year, probably two, before marriage. In that period of time you will begin to see inconsistencies if she is putting on an act. Pay attention to how your friends and family feel about her. If they don’t like her, that should be a big red flag. They can be much more objective than you can because they are not emotionally invested and they haven’t been having sex with her. I think you’re getting the general idea. Don’t get blinded by a woman just because she’s attractive or good in bed. If you’re looking for a healthy, solid, long-term relationship, you want someone who is basically sound. You’d do no less if you were purchasing a car.

Choose someone who makes you feel good, someone who makes you feel like a better person because you are with her. It may take a little longer to find her, but it will be well worth the wait.


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