Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Women are like Golf 2


So, from last part you agreed that you need some coaching when it comes to dating the girl of your dreams, and realise the importance of it. Maybe there is a girl in your mind right now, or as you read further, that clicks something within you. Keep improving yourself, she will like it. Now lets continue.

After finding a quiet corner to sit and ordering a couple of coffees, Coach Jake handed Micheal a book.

“What’s this?” Micheal asked.

“It’s a journal. I want you to use it to make notes about things you notice about yourself, about the women you find eye-catching, and how you feel when you interact with them… and things like that.”

Micheal fanned through the blank pages and agreed he would try to do what his coach was  asking for.

Coach Jake smiled and began, “Let’s compare these lessons about women to golf rather than basketball. Okay? Because golf is a slower, more thoughtful game, requiring more finesse, which is what you need when it comes to women, right?

“Let’s imagine we’re looking for just the right golf club to join. First, you need to know what kind of course you like to play? Some guys like a flat course where they can score big.. but for me, I like a course that’s more interesting, with some challenges along the way. It’s got to be well maintained, thoughtfully laid out, with a few surprises along the way... That kind of course gets me thrilled just thinking about it and I can’t wait to get back out there, again and again.

“But before I commit, I need to go back several times to really get at ease with it. After all, this is a big decision and I don’t want to end up a member of the wrong club.”

Coach Jake stopped, “Is this getting through to you?”

“Yeah, I think so. Point one is I need to get clear about what kind of woman I like, then set a plan to find her. Right?”

Woman of your dreams

Coach smiled, “That’s right. I’d advise you to actually write in that journal I gave you, exactly what you want in a woman, get real clear. Most guys never do this. They go out there like a pinball machine. Just bumping into women, hoping they’ll score.

“So yes, make your list then ask yourself why you’ve got each of the items on your list. You can learn a lot when you ask why you want or like something. This way, when you meet her, you’ll recognize her.”


Micheal made some notes then looked up.

“The big choice that’s pretty darned final is selecting the club you want to join. Let’s compare that to the eventual decision, the woman you want to settle down with.

“Now, let’s compare dating to your selection of clubs. You demo a few sets before you invest, right?”

Micheal laughed, “Yeah...and that can be pretty fun.”

Coach gave Micheal a look that said, ‘Let’s stick to the lecture,’ and went on, “You need to get to know each club so you become familiar with what it can do for your game. Of course, you know your strengths and your weaknesses. You’ve learned to compensate but at the same time, your search for the best clubs really is about being able to play the best game possible so you won’t have to compensate for your weaknesses.”

Micheal was warming to the metaphor, “Okay. I need to get clear on what kind of course I want to play. That means I need to figure out what kind of woman I’m looking for. Then I date, get to know different women, learn what I have to offer and select the one who best fits with who I am. And I’ve got to test different clubs so I can play the best game I’ve got.”

“That’s right, you’re getting it. It’s amazing that a guy can put more deliberate thought into selecting clubs than he does selecting a woman. And your clubs can also be compared to your personal skills and attributes, what you bring to the game of dating.

“Here’s something else. When you’re looking for a new course, or the perfect club that will transform your game, you ask your golfing buddies, right? It’s the same with your search for the perfect woman. Your friends and your family are the best place to get references for women. They know you and they can better match you up than if you just waited until you bumped into someone. They already know a little bit about you and her, which is more than can be said about that lady you spot in the produce section. Not that you can’t meet a great woman at those types of places, but even when you do, it’s hard to get something going.

“So let them know that you’re getting more serious about finding a really great woman. Tell them what you’re looking for and that you want their help. But don’t just sit back and wait.

“Now it’s time to go to the driving range, to develop yourself, so to speak.. A lot of guys like to just get out on the course and hack around, never really improving their game. Those are the same guys who like to hit the big drive and could care less about honing their short game. Tiger Woods hits buckets of balls every day.

“So while you’re waiting for your friends to come through for you, go to your favorite places and practice. Practice your conversation skills, and remember that listening is the most important part of a conversation. Ask questions that will relax a woman and persuade her to reveal who she is and what she cares about. She’ll like it and you’ll be learning. Notice whether or not she asks you questions. If she’s not interested in you, then it’s best to move on to the next one.

“Practice smiling and focusing on to what will make a woman feel comfortable. If you think about her needs you won’t feel self-conscious. If you assume she’s nervous, you’ll keep in mind to do whatever you can to help her feel relaxed. Practice complimenting women. And don’t just tell her she’s beautiful, pretty or attractive. Women are into details so if you comment on how pretty a woman’s eyes are, how you like her jewelry, or how flattering the color she’s wearing is, she’ll be impressed.

Women like compliments about their hair because they’re usually insecure about it. They’re also really into shoes so if you like a woman’s shoes, especially if they’re sexy, let her know. But don’t tell her they look sexy though, tell her they make her legs look great.

“Dance around the sexy words. Don’t ever tell a woman you’re getting acquainted with that she looks sexy, or hot, or whatever the latest words are. She might be turned off. Instead, tell her she looks amazing, fantastic, gorgeous, breath-taking, or that you’re speechless. Save those words about how sexy she is and how much she turns you on for after you’ve gotten to know each other better and you’re getting close to having sex for the first time.

And practice your skills on women you’re not attracted to so you get good at it. That’s because the more attracted you are to a woman, the more likely you’ll be nervous. Women are turned on by a man who’s confident but turned off by arrogance. Self-assured is maybe a better way to put it.
Then, because you’ve been practicing, when you meet someone you’re attracted to it’ll be natural.”

Micheal was madly taking notes, wanting to get everything Coach Jake was telling him. In the next part, we will see what are the skills needed and the extra things what will be helpful to get the game on. keep tuned and look out for the next part.

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