Women are like Golf 4

“Back to our lesson.. You’ve been going out practicing, getting more confident, and becoming natural at making women feel at ease.

“Finally, you meet someone you’re fascinated to. Your practice is paying off. You’ve got her talking, laughing (women value a good sense of humor more than you can imagine), she’s even leaning in to you and has touched your arm once. The GO signals are there. She seems anxious but interested and when you ask if you can call her, she says YES.

“You are going to the first date with her. This will be the first time you’ve played this course.  So you want it to be the best round possible.

“With golf you have to pay attention to the subtlest fine points.. choosing which club to select, which side of the fairway you should aim for, are there any hazards that you have to take care of, and the lay of the green.. and even the wind. Be just as attentive and conscious with this new woman.

“With each shot, you have to pay close attention to where the ball lands. Each time you play the course, you learn the fine details. How did she respond to that last question? Is she turning out to be someone you really enjoy or are there red flags that you should pay attention to? You can’t be disorganized or you’re going to blow it. It’s about being awake instead of asleep. If she’s someone you think could be the right one, you’re talking about your future life so get off to a good start. It’s like the tee shot. If you blow it, the rest of the hole will probably not go well. And you know that if you mess up on the first hole, you could very well find the entire round a bust.”

“You know Coach, this is the first time I’ve felt like this man/woman thing makes sense. I don’t feel so ignorant. I feel like I’ll actually do better next time I meet someone. Why is that?”

“That’s a good question, Micheal. I think it’s because when we’re just living life – including interacting with women – by the seat of our pants. Everything seems to be a bit of a mystery. Eventually, we end up being staggered a lot of the time and even broadsided occasionally. As you understand of the importance of paying closer attention to what you’re doing grows, it’s kind of like a light is being turned on.”

Micheal approved, “Yeah that does make so much sense! I’m actually getting excited about what is achievable for me now. What else can you tell me, this is getting fun?” Encouraged, Coach Jake continued.

 

The fantasy of women: Their perfect prince

“Here’s what women want. As a little boy, did you play pretend wedding?”

Micheal groaned, “Geeze, Coach, no way.”

“Of course not, but she did. Don’t look so amazed, most little girls do. Did you relate to the fairy tale where the prince swept the princess off her feet and carried her off to the castle? No? I didn’t think so. But she did. So much so, she’s still kind of hoping that might happen. It’s mostly subconscious, and she knows it’s irrational, but it’s a little-girl fantasy that never quite goes away.

“With her fantasy, the problem is how do you fight with a perfect prince? You can’t. But you can compete with all the other men out there and be the man that exceeds her grown-up, womanly dreams; i.e the man she brags about when she gets together with her friends; the man other women wish their husbands or boyfriends were like.” Coach Jake took a sip of his now-cold coffee and Micheal waited for more of his intelligence.

“You’ve settled on your preferred course and are actually considering joining. It’s a big step, but you know the benefits will be well worth any sacrifices you’ll have to make to take up the expense, time and responsibility into your life. It’s what you want. You want to join this course because you feel good when you’re out there. It’s beautiful, you get to let go of your uncertainties and concerns, and belonging is.. well.. belonging!

“And Isn’t it same with a woman? She makes you feel terrific, right?. It’s the same for her: you make her feel terrific. You stay in good standing at your golf club because you pay your monthly dues and treat the course and the members with respect. The difference with her is you pay dues every day, not in cash, but to keep her feeling loved. If she feels loved, respected, beautiful, sexy, cherished and adored, she’s going to want to continue to make you feel the same. It goes both ways.

“Continue to do all the things you did when you were first winning her heart; and on top of that, add a lot of things that she would consider creative. like some notes of love, listening to her, and those little gifts for no reason and you’ll have one happy woman on your hands: a woman who is proud to have you as her husband.

“Golf is a quiet game, like most guys. It suits them just fine not to say much. But here’s where women are different. Women have a lot more to say. They really enjoy the little particulars of life.

“As an example, ask her how many shades of lipstick she has. Do you notice that she uses more than one, depending on her outfit? Maybe not. But she sure does. Fringe on the pillows? Did you even know that pillows have fringe? She does because she picked it. It’s the details, Micheal, so get used to hearing about them. Listening to her tell you about those little details that electrify her is one of the best gifts you can give her. It might make you little bit crazy but you’ll make her really happy.”

“But,” Micheal groaned, “Why do they go on and on like that? It really does put on a guy’s patience.”

Next we will turn that light of awareness on with: Women talk to connect.