Sunday, November 21, 2010

Women are like Golf 6

“Wow, I know you’re right but I had utterly no idea all that was going on. So if it’s normal for a woman to go into that nurturing mode, how do I counter its disadvantageous effects?” Micheal was noticeably concerned.

First, it’s okay that you like when she starts nurturing. But you need to keep in mind two things. First, don’t let her mother you. That’s a killer of romance just on it’s own. If she starts to treat you like a child, picking up after you, reminding you to do things, etc. point out very lovingly that it feels like she’s trying to be your mom. Most women would be completely grossed out by that and they’ll stop. If she doesn’t, tell her it’s killing the romance for you. That should do it.

The other important thing to bear in mind is, even though it is easy to get lazy about romancing her, that you both need it to keep the love and passion shimmering. Got it?” Coach Jake asked.

keep the love and passion shimmering
 Micheal, a bit cautious, agreed, “Yeah, I’ve got the notion but I’m not sure how to romance a woman I’m involved with.”

“Remember when I was telling you how to make a woman feel comfortable when you first meet? Compliments? Asking her questions about herself? Listening? Doing thoughtful things? You can’t stop doing all that if you want to keep a woman happy.

“And if she’s not giving you opportunities to be her superman, you take charge. When she’s doing something where you can help, or just do it for her, do it. If she says, ‘No, I can do it,’ tell her, ‘Let me lend a hand to you. I like being your man.’ That should melt her heart and open that door.”

Micheal high-fived Coach Jake and they both laughed.

“Since we’re back to keeping that door open, let me explain to you a bit more. Men get held responsible for being dogs and having affairs. It’s often because the door is closed. But why is the door closed? Maybe it’s closed because you both got busy with life, kids, jobs, laundry and yard work. But maybe, just possibly, the door is closed because you’re not such a great lover. Men take for granted they are because they can get it up. Well, believe me, there’s a whole lot more to it than that. If you’re used to the microwave style of lovemaking, she’s not even ready and you’re done. She needs the oven and she needs to be pre-heated.

“What goes on with new love? Lots of kisses, caressing her entire body, nibble everywhere. That’s the warm-up time she needs. You do a lot of that because you’re so excited about exploring her body. But with time, the freshness wears off and you quit making her feel exceptional, sexy, attractive, and womanly. She needs that more than you can visualize. For women, sex is mostly what’s going on in their brains so it takes a lot more time to warm that oven up.

“Ask her what she likes. Every woman is different but most are not at ease at communicating their specific needs and wishes. perhaps something that worked great with your last girlfriend turns this one off. Pay attention. Be attentive. Listen and learn. It’s like interpreting the green. You don’t hit every putt the same. Some greens are uphill, some downhill, some have a lot of break and some so little that you almost can’t tell. You want to get on the green, don’t you? Your approach shot has to be just right, and what about your chipping? Do you really practice your short game? Or are you like all the other guys, just drive, drive, drive as hard as you can.

“Making love to a woman is the reverse of how you shoot each hole. Start with the putt, gently, with care and tenderness, and then go out from there, using the right club at the right time. Then you can finish with the big tee shot.”

They both laughed and Micheal realized he was starting over in more ways than one.

To stay in love, you have to keep on making each other feel terrific. You have to have fun and be mischievous with each other. You can’t let that stuff slide. Make a point to keep dates with each other, make her feel special by being thoughtful and she’ll want to make you feel special. And she’ll keep that door wide open. It’s so much simpler if you keep it a priority… like playing golf every week. You know if you let it go, your games gets out of form and you don’t enjoy it nearly as much as when you’re on top of your form. Micheal, with the next woman you meet, do the things I’m advising and you could start shooting in the 70’s every time.

“By the way, when you find the right club to join, don’t expect to have a caddy. Carry your own weight. A husband shouldn’t expect this wife to wait on him. If you both do nice, considerate, supportive things for each other, as a regular part of how you treat each other all the time, your marriage will succeed and blossom.”

“You know, Coach, I really appreciate that you took the time to talk to me. I’ve really been in the dark and I’m excited to try your advice. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

The two men stood up shaking hands and were laughing simultaneously; they stepped forward and gave each other a big warm bear hug.


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